Thursday, September 28, 2023

A Redo

 Ok, buckle up. This is going to get weird.

I only ask that you stick with me after I get started. Don’t dial 911. I can assure you that no one is in danger at any point during this devotional.

It was early summer of 1996, and I’d just killed a few guys. It wasn’t an accident. And I didn’t feel any guilt about it. They had it coming.

But I was also aware that this had all transpired well outside the boundaries of the law. Although I felt justified, there was no way I could simply be given a pass. Society doesn’t operate that way. It’s not the movies. I didn’t see how I wasn’t looking at maybe 30 years in prison, which at that point seemed like a life sentence.

So I was making preparations to leave. I had several thousand dollars in cash, some camping gear, food and tools loaded up in my truck. My plan was to drive down to Brownsville, Texas, and cross the border into Matamoros there. I’d travel through Mexico quickly, and keep heading south until I got to Costa Rica, because there were no extradition laws in Costra Rica. There I’d try to get a job on a cattle ranch, because I’d worked with cattle all my life, and it would be a good way to keep a low profile.

As I was about to embark on this journey I felt my plan was solid, but I wasn’t going into it lightly. I was never going to see any of my family and friends again. These people are very important to me. So important, it was how I’d gotten into this mess to begin with.

Then the thought occurred to me that through this whole ordeal, I’d never prayed. So I got down on my knees in the gravel road right there on my farm, clasped my hands together, shut my eyes and prayed out loud, “Dear God, is there is any other way, is there is any different course I should be taking right now, please show me the way.”

Then I opened my eyes, and I was looking at a horse grassing in the field. But I wasn’t in my driveway anymore. I was in a bed. My bed. I was looking out my window, not understanding. It was about 5:30 in the morning. As I tried to piece together the events of the past few days, they started not making sense, then slowing dropping away, and they were gone. It hadn’t happened. I was home and everything was OK.

This was long before I was aware of the Marvel comics multiverse concept… my idea of time travel was more based on Superman flying around the world backwards to save Lois Lane.  But it did feel so real, I felt as if I’d been giving a miraculous redo.

But when I logically tried to consider that, I knew it didn’t make any sense. If God had provisions for people to get a do-over every time they made bad choices and something went wrong, humanity would still be a small family living near the garden of Eden. Oh, you meant fruit from that tree of knowledge? Start over. Abel, Abel who? Start over.

But this experience was too powerful to just be a bad dream, a result of an undigested bit of beef or a bite of cheese, as Ebeneezer Scrooge would have said in Dickesn’s A Christmas Carol. I finally arrived at this conclusion: It was a holy spirit nudge, reminding me that I’d been neglectful in my prayer life. Prayer matters, and I needed to get back at it instead of just making my own way.

In the Dickens story, when Ebeneezer Scrooge had his powerful dream it changed his whole life. This is because he was old, and didn’t have to live long. That’s why it’s important to have these transformative experiences either late in life, or have them periodically.

John Wesley had his heart strangely warmed once, but I got two shots at a profound prayer experience.

Twenty some years later, I was having a hard time with someone I was close to. One night after I thought I’d tried everything, I realized that I had never really prayed about it. So I earnestly prayed for wisdom and discernment for how to extricate myself from this situation, similar to before. And it worked. Only this time I didn’t wake up from a dream. As soon as I prayed that prayer, I had one word clear in my head, “Apologize.”

At first, I thought “Come on, for what? What did I have to apologize for?”

But the word still hung there. I had to face it. So I wrote this person a letter, and said I tried to explain my position, but had clearly failed because I had made him angry and never intended to do so. Inadvertently causing anger was a complete failure on my part. I did a bad job of communicating. I’m sorry for causing this situation and hope you can forgive me.

And he did. If you ask the guy about this incident today, I don’t think he would even remember it. I didn’t come up with the resolution on my own, even though this had drug on for several months. I prayed about it one time and had my answer.

One morning during worship at Missouri UMC, the pastor lamented that he had prayed over people in hospitals hundreds of times in his career as a pastor, and as far as he could tell, he never healed anybody.

“If I could pray for someone and heal them, I’d be on TV,” he said. “I’d probably even have my own show.”

I thought this was pretty bold, for a pastor to say right in the middle of worship, I’m not sure this prayer stuff really works. And I can’t say I understand it myself, when it comes to healing prayer. So how does prayer work? I like clear directives, and we do have a clear directive from Jesus here, one of the times he didn’t answer a question with a question. When they said, “Master, teach us to pray,” Jesus didn’t say, “Well, how do you think we should pray?” No, he gave us an example, that many of our churches pray every Sunday morning. Last spring in chapel Mi Hyeon had us recite the 23rd Psalm in unison, and it didn’t go so well, but I think we can do the Lord’s Prayer. Let’s pray it together.

Our Father, who art in heaven

Hallowed be thy name

They Kingdom come

They will be done

On Earth, as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us of our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever

Amen.

I have to hand it to Jesus, that’s a pretty good model. Starts off with some praise of God, acknowledgement of divine control, thankfulness that basic needs are being met, asking for forgiveness…

Ok, that’s a real important part right there. You can’t ask for forgiveness if you’re doing everything right, can you? No, what goes hand in hand with asking for forgiveness is confession to being in the wrong. Confession is baked in here, whether we like it or not.

As we forgive those who trespass against us… not as we consider forgiving, or forgive some of those, or try to forgive… no we’re saying we forgive – right here before God and everybody. Big statement.

And lead us not into temptation…

Ok, maybe my pastor wasn’t very good at faith healing. And maybe all the thoughts and prayers to end mass shootings haven’t worked yet. But I’ve found the lead us not into temptation prayer works every time. You can’t just pray it once and be set for years. You can’t just pray it in church and be good all week. But when it comes to lapses in morality, whatever that lapse may be, if I pray for resistance to temptation, it really does make that thing I wanted to do that I know that I shouldn’t do less of a thing that I want to do. It helps get your head on straight.

So, I would encourage you all to remember to pray, specifically and personally, about things in your life, particularly things in which you need clarity of thought. 

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Redemption Psalm

 A few weeks ago, Ada Jett would have been very ashamed of me. Not just me, but practically everyone who I work with.

I grew up in a country church. It was a one-room sanctuary. For Sunday school class, the kids went to the corners of the room, and our classroom was separated from the rest of the room by a sheet on a clothesline. Ada was my Sunday school teacher from preschool through early elementary.

Recently at the end of our Thursday chapel service at work, we were all asked to recite Psalm 23 from memory in unison.

We didn’t pull it off. We started off ok, but proceeded with less confidence. You started hearing words not matching. I think some people faded into the Lord’s Prayer, or perhaps the Apostles Creed. We left out at least one verse entirely.

Ada would not have been pleased. Remedial lessons would have been assigned. The bite-sized Milk Way candy bars would have been withheld.

I blame some of our chapel confusion on reading so many different translations. Great for Bible study, not so good for reciting something as a group. Those KJV-only people have this on the rest of us.

I’ve often thought of the writing process of the 23rd Psalm. David up there on the top floor of the keep, the room with the good view of all the rooftops, hanging out with his psalm-writing buddies. They are kicked back, drinking some wine, bouncing ideas off of each other, putting some quill to parchment scrolls. After he’s been quiet for a while, David says, “Hey guys, tell me what you think of this one:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Ok, I’m listening

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

You got me. Keep going man.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Yeah, Davey! You got this one. Bring it on home now!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Woo hoo! There are high fives all around the room. One of the guys call out, “People are going to be cross-stitching this one and hanging it up in their kitchens for a few thousand years!”

I’ve been reading the daily devotional guide that I was given for Christmas. I read it right as I go to bed at night. Sometimes I’m very tired, and I read it very quickly, and as I sit down my Bible I realize I have no idea what I just read.

Back in January it had us reading Psalm 15. I couldn’t believe it. It was like I had to read half the Bible. But I soldiered through.

I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, but parts of it are written much better than others. Psalm 15 is a bit of a train wreck. How did it make the cut to get into the Bible? I have to think better Psalms were written at the time. And maybe since.

Enter Jelly Roll.

I was listening to country radio last weekend, and heard a song by Jelly Roll called A Favor.

I only talk to God when I need a favor

I only pray when I ain’t got a prayer

So who I am to expect a savior

When I only talk to God if I need a favor

I know Amazing Grace

But ain’t living by the words

Spent more Sundays drunk

Than I have in church

Hard cover King James

Only saving dust on the nightstand

Don’t know what to say

By the time I fold my hands

I mean, I’m not saying all of Jelly Roll’s theology is going to be perfect, or Wesleyan, but it’s better than Psalm 137 which has us snatching our enemies’ babies and dashing their heads against the rocks.

This is why Ada would have us all focus on winners like Psalm 23 and skip over some others.

Shall we pray:

Gracious God, we give you thank for David, Jelly Roll and all the psalmists out there who craft words that help open hearts to you. Amen. 

Friday, May 5, 2023

A Call to Service and Slamming Ram

 There’s that one Sunday in America, in which millions of people will hear words of inspiration intended to change their lives. Words meant to encourage them to strive for something more. Those responsible for these words wonder, will it work? Will change occur?

I’m not talking about Christmas, Easter or Mother’s Day. I’m talking about Super Bowl Sunday. Those words of inspiration are from advertisers, and they are attempting to inspire people to buy something. A few of the people watching the Super Bowl were in church that morning. You may wonder, which will be more inspirational, a Sunday morning sermon whose purpose is to get people to connect with God, or a Sunday evening commercial that’s purpose is to get someone to buy a new Chrysler?

But hold on, let’s level the playing field. These advertisers have millions of dollars for a production budget. They’ve got the latest special effects. They have trained animals, puppies, Clydesdales. They have Eminem, Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood.

The Sunday preacher stands alone.

Plus, the ad guys have a year to work on the Superbowl ads. Sunday morning sermons come up once a week.

And with Superbowl ads, you’re looking at the very best work of the very best people in the business. There are plenty of advertisers out there, making ads everyday, who are working hard and doing their best, but will never rise to the level of being good enough to be hired to do a Super Bowl ad.

If you’re wondering why I’m talking about football in May, that’s just an indicator of how far behind I am. But don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be all caught up by the time Annual Conference comes around about six months from now.

Let’s go back a few years. 2018. The before times. There was an ad break, and suddenly many of us were surprised to hear the familiar voice of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. preaching about a call to service. It’s from his sermon entitled The Drum Major Instinct, which is critical of our inherent desire to be the one out front, in the lead. It went on to be one of the most discussed ads of the game.

Some of my clergy friends couldn’t tweet or Facebook post fast enough. The common initial reaction was this: “Are they using Martin Luther King’s words to sell trucks? That’s wrong.” They were indignant that this sacred sermon was used for a commercial.

They weren’t the only ones. A couple of days later one headline read: Martin Luther King's family slams Ram for using his speech to sell trucks in most-hated Super Bowl ad.

Most people watching the game probably weren’t familiar with this sermon, given at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta exactly 50 years to the day preceding the commercial, and also exactly two months before King’s assassination in Memphis, Tennessee.  

In case you missed it, here’s the full script of the commercial, an unabridged excerpt in King’s voice taken directly from his sermon:

If you want to be important—wonderful. If you want to be recognized—wonderful. If you want to be great—wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. That's a new definition of greatness.

And this morning, the thing that I like about it: by giving that definition of greatness, it means that everybody can be great,  because everybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. And you can be that servant.

Everyone agrees that is a strong message. And Ram trucks, formerly known as Dodge, spent upwards of $5 million to get it in front of people, when they could have been talking about their best in class V-8 towing capability (12,700 pounds!).

I’m pretty sure the person who pitched the idea was well intended. Had it not kept flashing to pictures of the truck, and had it not ended with the silent tagline that read “Ram trucks, built to serve,” the public at large may have thanked Dodge for its generosity of putting out a Public Service Announcement calling for public service.

Astute scholars of King also picked up on something that made the whole situation even more ironic. Earlier in the very same sermon, King warned about consumerism pushing people toward buying a car they can’t afford. He got specific, saying you shouldn’t buy a car the cost more than half of your annual salary. Let’s read the part of the speech that didn’t make it into the commercial.

Now the presence of this instinct explains why we are so often taken by advertisers. You know, those gentlemen of massive verbal persuasion. And they have a way of saying things to you that kind of gets you into buying. In order to be a man of distinction, you must drink this whiskey. In order to make your neighbors envious, you must drive this type of car. In order to be lovely to love you must wear this kind of lipstick or this kind of perfume. And you know, before you know it, you're just buying that stuff. That's the way the advertisers do it.

I got a letter the other day, and it was a new magazine coming out. And it opened up, "Dear Dr. King: As you know, you are on many mailing lists. And you are categorized as highly intelligent, progressive, a lover of the arts and the sciences, and I know you will want to read what I have to say." Of course I did. After you said all of that and explained me so exactly, of course I wanted to read it.

But very seriously, it goes through life; the drum major instinct is real. And you know what else it causes to happen? It often causes us to live above our means. It's nothing but the drum major instinct. Do you ever see people buy cars that they can't even begin to buy in terms of their income? You've seen people riding around in Cadillacs and Chryslers who don't earn enough to have a good T-Model Ford. But it feeds a repressed ego.

You know, economists tell us that your automobile should not cost more than half of your annual income. So if you make an income of five thousand dollars, your car shouldn't cost more than about 2,500. That's just good economics. And if it's a family of two, and both members of the family make ten thousand dollars, they would have to make out with one car. That would be good economics, although it's often inconvenient. But so often, haven't you seen people making five thousand dollars a year and driving a car that costs six thousand? And they wonder why their ends never meet. That's a fact.

So this is about as ironic as you can get – in the same sermon that a car company used for its Super Bowl ad, King is advising people not to buy a new car. But this sermon is too good to walk away from, so I’m going to give you some more.

Now the economists also say that your house shouldn't cost—if you're buying a house, it shouldn't cost more than twice your income. That's based on the economy and how you would make ends meet. So, if you have an income of five thousand dollars, it's kind of difficult in this society. But say it's a family with an income of ten thousand dollars, the house shouldn't cost much more than twenty thousand. Well, I've seen folk making ten thousand dollars, living in a forty- and fifty-thousand-dollar house. And you know they just barely make it. They get a check every month somewhere, and they owe all of that out before it comes in. Never have anything to put away for rainy days.

Lots of good stuff here, but I’m going to skip down a bit further in the sermon, when he’s talking about the danger of exclusivism.

And you know, that can happen with the church; I know churches get in that bind sometimes. I've been to churches, you know, and they say, "We have so many doctors, and so many school teachers, and so many lawyers, and so many businessmen in our church." And that's fine, because doctors need to go to church, and lawyers, and businessmen, teachers—they ought to be in church. But they say that—even the preacher sometimes will go all through that—they say that as if the other people don't count.

And the church is the one place where a doctor ought to forget that he's a doctor. The church is the one place where a Ph.D. ought to forget that he's a Ph.D. The church is the one place that the school teacher ought to forget the degree she has behind her name. The church is the one place where the lawyer ought to forget that he's a lawyer. And any church that violates the "whosoever will, let him come" doctrine is a dead, cold church, and nothing but a little social club with a thin veneer of religiosity.

When the church is true to its nature, it says, "Whosoever will, let him come." And it does not supposed to satisfy the perverted uses of the drum major instinct. It's the one place where everybody should be the same, standing before a common master and savior. And a recognition grows out of this—that all men are brothers because they are children of a common father.

The drum major instinct can lead to exclusivism in one's thinking and can lead one to feel that because he has some training, he's a little better than that person who doesn't have it. Or because he has some economic security, that he's a little better than that person who doesn't have it. And that's the uncontrolled, perverted use of the drum major instinct.

And just a bit further down in his sermon he takes us to his jail cell, and does a better job at it than the Apostle Paul:

The other day I was saying, I always try to do a little converting when I'm in jail. And when we were in jail in Birmingham the other day, the white wardens and all enjoyed coming around the cell to talk about the race problem. And they were showing us where we were so wrong demonstrating. And they were showing us where segregation was so right. And they were showing us where intermarriage was so wrong. So I would get to preaching, and we would get to talking—calmly, because they wanted to talk about it. And then we got down one day to the point—that was the second or third day—to talk about where they lived, and how much they were earning. And when those brothers told me what they were earning, I said, "Now, you know what? You ought to be marching with us.  You're just as poor as Negroes." And I said, "You are put in the position of supporting your oppressor, because through prejudice and blindness, you fail to see that the same forces that oppress Negroes in American society oppress poor white people. And all you are living on is the satisfaction of your skin being white, and the drum major instinct of thinking that you are somebody big because you are white. And you're so poor you can't send your children to school. You ought to be out here marching with every one of us every time we have a march."

Now that's a fact. That the poor white has been put into this position, where through blindness and prejudice, he is forced to support his oppressors. And the only thing he has going for him is the false feeling that he’s superior because his skin is white—and can't hardly eat and make his ends meet week in and week out.

Put that in your pickup truck ad. But let’s keep going.

But this is why we are drifting. And we are drifting there because nations are caught up with the drum major instinct. "I must be first." "I must be supreme." "Our nation must rule the world." And I am sad to say that the nation in which we live is the supreme culprit. And I'm going to continue to say it to America, because I love this country too much to see the drift that it has taken.

God didn't call America to do what she's doing in the world now. God didn't call America to engage in a senseless, unjust war as the war in Vietnam. And we are criminals in that war. We’ve committed more war crimes almost than any nation in the world, and I'm going to continue to say it. And we won't stop it because of our pride and our arrogance as a nation.

But God has a way of even putting nations in their place. The God that I worship has a way of saying, "Don't play with me." He has a way of saying, as the God of the Old Testament used to say to the Hebrews, "Don’t play with me, Israel. Don't play with me, Babylon. Be still and know that I'm God. And if you don't stop your reckless course, I'll rise up and break the backbone of your power." And that can happen to America. Every now and then I go back and read Gibbons' Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. And when I come and look at America, I say to myself, the parallels are frightening. And we have perverted the drum major instinct.

Man, that would have preached in 2018. Ram missed the best part. But just a little further down in the sermon he gets to the section that they used for Ram trucks.

And so Jesus gave us a new norm of greatness.

Ok, they cut out the first sentence, because, come on, you can’t just come right out and say Jesus on TV. But the next part is uncut. Let’s read it again.

 If you want to be important—wonderful. If you want to be recognized—wonderful. If you want to be great—wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. That's a new definition of greatness.

And this morning, the thing that I like about it: by giving that definition of greatness, it means that everybody can be great, because everybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. And you can be that servant.

Commercial ends. So that was it, a great call to servanthood. But the next paragraph was even better. You didn’t get to hear it on TV, so let’s look at it now.

I know a man—and I just want to talk about him a minute, and maybe you will discover who I'm talking about as I go down the way because he was a great one. And he just went about serving. He was born in an obscure village, the child of a poor peasant woman. And then he grew up in still another obscure village, where he worked as a carpenter until he was thirty years old. Then for three years, he just got on his feet, and he was an itinerant preacher. And he went about doing some things. He didn't have much. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family. He never owned a house. He never went to college. He never visited a big city. He never went two hundred miles from where he was born. He did none of the usual things that the world would associate with greatness. He had no credentials but himself.

Wow. What a sermon. Truly great. It’s too bad Methodists can’t preach that good.

Now comes the plot twist.

If you’ve ever learned much about King outside of celebrating in legacy, you know it has been found that he sometimes plagiarized a bit in some of his college papers, including big ones like his doctoral dissertation. And it also comes up in his sermons. King’s Drum Major Instinct sermon was largely based upon a homily called… I’ll give you one guess… The Drum Major Instinct. It was by J. Wallace Hamilton, an old white guy, and a Methodist. He preached it first in 1949. Many of his sermons were published in books. Hamilton was famous enough to be talked about in seminaries, but not famous enough to have a page on Wikipedia.

So maybe you’re saying, ok he used some of the same metaphors, but that’s not really stealing, right. Well, remember the magazine letter story that I shared a bit ago? Here’s Hamilton’s version:

I received a letter from the subscription manager of a newly launched magazine. He started off on what he called a perfectly honest note: “As you undoubtedly know,” he said in the first paragraph, “Your name is on several mailing lists in which you are classified as ‘highly literate, progressive, interested in world affairs, good literature and science.’ Therefore I believe you will be interested in what I have to say.” Of course I was interested since he had described me so exactly.

Ouch. Ok, that’s not just using the same theme.

But now I had an in. I could write about the whole Super Bowl commercial fiasco in the Methodist magazine because I now had a Methodist angle on it. And I could say to my upset Methodist friends, “Hey relax. Don’t worry about the sacred words of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King being used for a commercial purpose, because they weren’t really his words anyway. He stole them from a Methodist.”

I quickly dismissed that idea. I don’t think anyone was going to be too well served by me coming out with a piece in the magazine in black history month talking about King being a plagiarist. The wrong kind of people would applaud me for writing that story. I don’t need those kind of fans.

King’s sermon follows Hamilton’s most closely in the beginning, by the end it becomes pure King. One piece that I read on this topic noted that it could be argued that preachers swapping generic stories to illustrate a point is a tradition in Baptist rhetorical style. I would argue that’s it’s not just Baptist.

One of my favorite preachers is recently retired Rev. Fred Leist. He works hard on his sermons. They are well researched. You know they are well researched because, better than anyone that I know, Fred does a great job of attributing his sources. That’s challenging to do a sermon. Because Fred doesn’t just say, J. Wallace Hamilton once said, because he knows his audience doesn’t know who that is. He would say, J. Wallace Hamilton, a Methodist elder in Florida who preached from the 1930s through 1960s, said in his homily entitled The Drum Major Instinct…”

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King didn’t do that. I wouldn’t have worked well with his delivery. This is hard for me to say because I’m a writer, not a talker, but when I read King’s sermons I may nod in agreement and think, “hmm… good point.” But when I hear actual audio of the same sermons, I get chills. I’m moved to tears. His delivery was phenomenal. It gave his words power, so much so that it made him dangerous to people that opposed his words, which is why he was killed. I’m not saying J Wallace Hamilton was a bad preacher, but he preached the same words and got to live to be a bout 70, and King didn’t make it to 40.

Out of respect for J. Wallace Hamilton, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King and all great preachers, I suppose I should have three points and a conclusion. So what are the points?

  1. Preachers – Gain inspiration from Super Bowl ads, maybe even model a sermon after one (but not too closely), but don’t compare your message to them too harshly – they have a lot resource.
  2. Don’t be too hard on people - I feel for the Ram truck ad guy who chose the King speech for commercial. I think he thought he was doing the right thing, and thought he’d be praised for it. To have the immediate reaction go off the rails must have hurt,
  3. Realize that there’s a lot of good stuff out there that has already been written. We’ve had the written word for something like 5,000 years. Most topics have been covered by now. If you can contextualize something in a powerful way, good for you.

Shall we pray?

Gracious good, please give us wisdom as we go about our work, so that the impact of our actions may stay inline with the purpose of which we intend them. And help us follow the teachings of your son, as he called us to be servant leaders. Amen. 

Friday, November 18, 2022

What's Important

 



Matthew 22:36-40

New International Version

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

There was a large portrait, a photograph, in the basement of my mother’s house, leaned up against a wall in her office. It was a professional black and white picture of two-year-old boy. The boy was Hardy Groff, my grandmother’s brother. In the picture he was holding his hand on his ear, as a child with an earache would. He died soon after the picture. My mother always told me he died of some infection related to the earache. My grandmother’s other brother, Edmund, died at age one.

I went by the farmhouse recently, and this picture was outside on a trash pile. The new owner was cleaning the house out to rent it. My brother was the last one there, and he said he’d taken all the pictures, but he didn’t take this one. I could see why… it was spooky. As my son Oliver said, if there’s any way for anything to ever be haunted in this world, that picture would be it.

Although the picture was grim, and it is hard to know what to do with it, it is also hard to discard, because my grandmother had kept it. When you only have two brothers, and both of them die before they reach the age of three, having a picture of one of them is important. 

So I took the picture to my Uncle Don, the last of my grandmother’s living children. Don immediately recognized the picture. His wife Donna seemed excited to get it – but maybe just for the antique frame. It was probably 130 years old.

When I gave them the picture they gave me my grandmother’s family Bible. Don had sent it to my grandmother from Germany when he was in the army. There’s a page in the Bible entitled “Important Events in the Life of Our Family.” This is what it reads, written in my grandmother's hand:

Lived on the river place from 1919 till 1938, then moved on Dad's place in Feb. 1938. Stayed there 4 years and with Grandma Ridenhour 10 years. Moved to Stockton place in March of 1953. 

Walter Erlyne, Randy, Dot, Dad & I went to Chicago in Nov. 1954 to visit Bill & Mildred. Bill was in the army at that time. 

Easter Sunday 1955 Walter, Mildred, Donna, Dad & I went to Camp Chaffee, Arkansas, to visit Don. 

I'm guessing the trips were significant because they were probably the only two times she traveled outside the state of Missouri.

Our bathroom was completed in the fall of 1967. 

If it seems odd that a home improvement project made it into the family Bible, consider this was the first time she had indoor plumbing. When you've endured some long, snowy winters with the outhouse located pretty far from the main house, getting a bathroom is newsworthy. 

We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary Jan. 1, 1969. 

I moved to Belle all alone Dec. 1970. 

That was her final line, and I'm guessing it was written soon after the move. She sounds scared of being alone. She had never been alone before. She had gone from living with her parents family, to her husbands family, to her own family.... never anywhere near alone. 

Her fears were justified, but unfounded. I was born two years later, and went there about every time we went to town, which was often. Usually, some cousins or aunts and uncles were already there. Her little brick house with a big yard in the middle of town was a hub of activity.

Important events in the life of our family.

Five years ago my father walked into the hospital here in Columbia on his own accord and died the next day. His death was both shocking and expected, as he’d been fighting cancer for over a year. The shocking part was I assumed he would decline to a point that meant some time in and out of the hospital, resulting in a final stay that lasted some weeks in the hospital or perhaps a nursing home. Apparently, he had muscled through those stages just like he did most things and was able to persevere through his last day on earth. I spent that day with him in the hospital. He was alert and lucid up to his last breath, and could talk easily as I’m talking to you now.  He had two concerns: he had a single steer that hadn’t sold with the others or gone to butcher, and it was time. But he usually finished them on some grain. He said it might not be that good, but being entirely grassfed beef was fashionable now, so maybe it would be ok.

The other thing was a pair of boots. He’d only worn them a couple times because they were a little small and hurt his feet. But he had worn them, so he couldn’t take them back. He said I should be sure to get them, because they were like new, and I’m half a size smaller than him so they would probably fit me well.

His reservations about the steer were spot on. It was lean. It tasted more like venison this his usual Grade A Angus. The steak didn’t have the usual marbling you look for.

He was right about the boots. They fit me well. They say Danner Dry on the little tag. I learned that Danner Dry means somewhat moist. My feet would get soaked when I walked across wet grass. But if I covered them with enough mink oil I could get them fairly waterproof. I’ve put the boots to good use, wearing them every time I go to the farm. I've also worn them on hiking trips through mountains, deserts, swamps, forests and high plains. Although it’s been five years, I’m still wearing them now.

There were certainly things of larger importance that could have been discussed, but as we both slowly recognized we were in his final hours I wasn’t going to push him toward an uncomfortable conversation. His faith was strong and he had no fear of death – he feared only a protracted hospital or nursing home stay, and he dodged that. He was an old German farmer, and didn’t like to talk about money, property or business much, and pretty soon none of that was going to be his problem anyway.

He had grown up in an era where when people were old and sick, you called a doctor and they came to the house, you didn’t go to the hospital. When things looked grim, the doctor and family would call for a death watch, and people took turns at the bedside round the clock. My dad had done this several times, and was familiar with a condition he called the death rattle. You can hear it in the breathing. He could hear it in himself, and knew he was close. But he didn’t have anything more important to deal with than a lone steer and a pair of boots. He also mentioned he wanted all of us kids to get along. He didn’t say how – it was more of a wish than a directive.

 Important Events in the Life of the Family

So Jesus occasionally gets pegged as always either answering a question with another question, or answering a question with a big, long story, starting out “There was a certain man…” He does a lot of that in Matthew. But there’s that one time in the Bible when Jesus was asked what was most important. He didn’t mince words. He’s like, "This one is really simple." He said to Love God with all you got, and after that love your neighbor as yourself, and if you started with that, you should do fine figuring out everything else.

So I’d like you all to reflect on what’s important to you this week. This doesn’t have to be an etched in stone or tattooed on your arm mission statement, but just a few words about what makes your life important as you finish out the last couple days of this week. It could even be a single word, like encouragement, accountability, support. 

Thursday, January 23, 2020

Getting Crossways


The Crossing is the “big” church in Columbia, larger than the biggest United Methodist Church in Missouri. It’s the church that Methodist pastors could get jealous of, were it not for coveting being on our top 10 “Don’t” list. Most people I know in Columbia, including some who have been attending there for years, think The Crossing is non-denominational. It’s not. It’s part of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. If you’re not familiar with the EPC denomination, don’t feel bad. It’s tiny. The EPC has a smaller membership and attendance nationwide than the United Methodist Church has just in Missouri. Most of the people in the EPC denomination in Missouri are at The Crossing.
Early in September, The Crossing leveraged $430,000 to pay off $43 million in medical debt in 31 counties in Missouri, picking up the bill for people they had never and would never meet. It was a pretty cool thing to do, and they every got some national attention from the secular medial for it. It was a church story everyone could feel good about. But we’re not talking about medical debt anymore.
Every year downtown Columbia hosts the True/False Film Fest, the top documentary film festival in the nation. Imagine reality TV if reality TV wasn’t trash, but actual reality. The makers of these films dedicate years of their lives to telling untold stories, often of the overlooked or oppressed. It takes over downtown for a few days, and Missouri United Methodist Church is one of many venues for the films.
Part of the festival is the True Life Fund, which has been sponsored by The Crossing to the tune of about $35,000 a year. Whenever I’ve been at the True Life film, one of the organizers of the festival would come out on stage before the showing and say apologetically that people always ask him why a church sponsors the festival, and they think it’s weird they would let a church be involved in any way, but he goes on to say that he thinks the conversation is important. Then the pastor from The Crossing takes the stage, sometimes seeming a little miffed that an apology is required for him to take part in the festival, then he goes on to say people at his church always ask him why they would sponsor a left-leaning gathering of people who seem anti-church, and he says that he thinks the conversation is important.
The relationship between church and film-festival was so unusual that the New York Times did a story about a few years ago under the headline: Crossing a Divide, Seeking Good. As a church communications guy, I would call getting a story like that in the New York Times a win.
The relationship between True/False and The Crossing was unusual, awkward and apparently fragile. In October The Crossing was doing a sermon series on Genesis, and one Sunday focused on gender, and trans-gender, issues. I listened to the sermon online, and I could fill this magazine with criticism of it. I’d probably start with the sermon being 40 minutes long, and the pastor having about five minutes’ worth of stuff to say. I would have plenty of points of disagreement with his interpretation of scripture and his overall theology. This did not surprise me, because I am not an Evangelical Presbyterian.
The sermon got a lot of buzz online, more the talk of the town than any other sermon I’ve known of. Within a few days the relationship between The Crossing and the True/False Film Fest was severed.
The Crossing didn’t just support the festival, it also contributed several thousand dollars a year to the Ragtag Cinema, a small, independent art house theater in Columbia that was the genesis of the True False Film Fest. The Ragtag decided to end that sponsorship as well.
Before the beginning of feature films at the Ragtag they briefly show an image on the screen of all of their sponsors. I was there a couple weeks after the hubbub, and when they put up the screen there was a conspicuous hole where The Crossing’s logo used to be.
“Yay, they’re gone!” someone called out, and people around me cheered.
“Everything is better now,” is said sadly sarcastically to myself, loud enough to catch an elbow from my wife.
People inside and outside of the church have more in common than they know. They now have one less opportunity to figure that out. 

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Gods and Koenigs



I wasn’t always the eloquent orator you see before you today. When I was a kid I had a speech impairment. And when I say a kid, I mean from age 19 on down. Once I got to college, I hooked up with some speech therapy (shout out to Linda Day) and got it taken care of.

Coincidently, during these same formative years I attended church, from one to three times a week, depending on the current church schedule. Never missed unless we were out of town, which only happened about once a year.

Back to the speech impediment, it was pretty hard to understand certain words I would say, so I’d talk around it. But in church, there was always a lot of reading out loud, so there was no getting around it there. My condition was obvious to everyone in church.

This church would have an attendance in the low 20s in the good years, and half that during the lean years. We went through a lot of pastors – some very good ones, and none that were all that bad. Although I have to say, most of the sermons didn’t really seem to have much to do with me or my life experience.

Wouldn’t it have been awesome if there was some story in the Bible that a pastor could have shared with me that would have provided me with some encouragement with that speech problem? Ironically, there is, but I didn’t come across it until I was in my 30s. It’s about one of the really obscure Old Testament prophets, you’ve probably never heard of him… what was that name again? Oh year, it’s Moses.

That’s right, Moses. Second only to Jesus himself as the coolest guy in the Bible. Baby-basket float tripping Moses. The stick changing to a snake that can kill your stick changing to a snake Moses. That guy.

The Moses who is so tough he beats people to death unintentionally- that’s like Mel Gibson cool, and I don’t mean the drunk anti-Semite, I’m talking about Mel back in the Lethal Weapon days. There’s a new movie coming out this weekend called Exodus – Gods and Kings. Moses is the lead role, and who did that get to play him? Batman, that’s who. The last time there was a big movie about Moses, they cast the spokesman for the NRA in the role – that’s how tough Moses is.

But for all of his awesomeness, when God called Moses, Moses told him that he had the wrong guy. Go ask someone else, God. That speech problem was his primary excuse. Exodus chapter 4, verse 10, he said “I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”

God’s reply? Hey, your brother Aaron is a good talker. If you have any trouble, you can just get him to do the talking for you.

OK, when I was a kid, I would have totally put that verse on my brother. “Yo Tim, Exodus 4: 15-16. You’re up. Time for you to do some talking for me buddy. I’ll tell you what to say.” I would have used that daily.

Anyway, Moses gave in to God’s request and went on to do impressive stuff. If you want to know more, you can watch the movie. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t learn about Moses’s speaking problem soon enough to do me any good. I guess I was counting on the church services and daily Bible devotional readings too much – I should have done some study on my own. Depending on the print size, the Bible’s a good 1,000 pages long. It takes some time to take it all in.

This time a year, we hear a lot about what amounts to around three pages of the Bible. Great story – I’m certainly not going say it shouldn’t get its due. But let’s be open to what else the scripture has to offer. Let’s pray.

Gracious God, we give you thanks that we still have available the words of the Bible that were written thousands of years ago. We recognize that it is easier to read than it’s ever been. Help us to find the words to help us better live our lives, and find ways to share scripture with others in a way that it is helpful to them. Thy will be done. Amen.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Choices and Judgement


I like to ride motorcycles. I’ve had a lot of guys who don’t ride, but want to, ask me about it. All I can say is I don’t recommend it.
An accident that would amount to a minor inconvenience in a car would mean an extended hospital stay, or worse, on a motorcycle. They are fun, but I wouldn’t advise anyone to take it up.
One of my friends had been shopping for a motorcycle, but finally got a jeep instead. I’m glad. Duane Almond died on his motorcycle right after recording Live At Filmore East. Maybe if he’d been driving a jeep that day, kids today wouldn’t have to listen to Nickelback.
Riding a motorcycle is kind of like smoking. Maybe it’s enjoyable, but the negatives far outweigh the positives. Smoking is even more addictive than motorcycles, so you quickly get to the point where you’re no longer making a choice.
This is really just a prop for the sake of the video. Historically, the only time I’ve ever really smoked was at a party every few years, or when I wanted to annoy people around me. And since the cancer came up last year, I can’t really even pull that off now.
So how about a drink? The drinking question is easy. We have all seen what should have been good marriages come apart due to excessive boozing. We see people killed from drunk driving accidents all the time on the news. People make fools of themselves in public when they accidently get too drunk. Happy hours smooth the speed bumps on the road to infidelity. Years of casual drinking lead to not so casual liver failure. Visit any homeless shelter, or a park bench in good weather, and you’ll meet lots of guys who are big fans of the hooch. The biggest concern I have about some of my closest friends is that their drinking could get out of hand and cause bad things to happen.
So the alcohol question is a no brainer. Those Methodist Women got it right a 100 years ago with prohibition. Ban it. Pour it down the sewers. Smash the distilleries with sledge hammers.
But what would Jesus do? Surprisingly, his first recorded supernatural miracle was a divine beer run.
I’m talking about the book of John, chapter 2, verses 1-11. It was a wedding party, and a good one at that. Well into the celebration, they ran out of wine. I’ve been at wedding receptions when this happens, and let me tell you that the situation is that everyone is already drunk, and they would all be better off if they would just go home. But everyone’s having such a good time, no one wants to leave, but it’s hard to find an all-night liquor store in the year 30 A.D.
Mary may have been a little drunk, because she said, “Jesus, do your thing with the wine.” It was like a mother asking her child to play a piano or recite a poem at a party. And Jesus responded likewise, “Ma, I’m not ready. Not here. Stop asking. You’re embarrassing me.” But Mary lived up to Jewish mother stereotype here, and persisted. And Jesus caved, and said, “All right, fill some jugs with water.”
Next thing you know, the wine was flowing.
Someone quickly mentioned the apparent party foul. Rather than starting off the wedding party with the good stuff, and bringing out the cheap stuff after everyone is drunk and doesn’t care, this party person, who must not have been too drunk yet, noticed that this wine was a lot better than what they had started out with. Jesus hadn’t just turned water into wine, he had turned water into really good wine. Party on, Jesus!
So where does this leave us? Alcohol is responsible for many of society’s ills, but Jesus used the power of God to create some, and he did it for people who had probably already had one too many.
Is the object lesson here that our mothers can talk us into anything?
Maybe Jesus was letting us know it is OK to cut loose sometime. Maybe the What Would Jesus Do question isn’t always as easy to answer as we think. This isn’t an excuse to cut loose all the time, and Jesus had much more to say about other things we need to be doing. But you can’t be service focused every minute, or you’ll probably crash and burn.
It’s also worth noting that Jesus wasn’t sneaking off with a secretary after work when he employed the wine conjuring ability. He was at a friend’s wedding, sitting around a table with his mother, for goodness sake. If you’re going to get tip the bottle, a family event that you’re at with your parents is a pretty safe place to do it.
Am I advocating drinking? Definitely not. Nor smoking or motorcycle riding. If you don’t do any of these things, you’re much better off. I hope my kids avoid all three. But if you are inclined to take a drink occasionally, there are several scriptures that advise you to take it easy.
Let’s pray.

Dear God, help us to not judge others for their vices, and to exercise restraint in ours. Your will be done. Amen.