Solomon

If I didn’t have the constraints of time and money, I’d like to take a couple of years to travel the world – the whole world. Maybe not every single country, I wouldn’t want to be that legalistic about it, but most countries in all parts of the world. And while visiting each country, I’d like to father a child there. Then move on.

Then in about 20 years, I’d like to have a big gathering of the kids. All the Ferdinands, Fredricos, Fritzs, Alfreds, Frederic’s, Freidas and Freddies would come together for the first time at a big party at some neutral location, maybe Springfield. These international versions of me would have a great time getting to know each other and recognizing their similarities. It would make for a great cable show. It would be glorious.

You might think this ambition sounds rather covetous and adulterous for a Fred On Faith posting, and  both of those things make the top ten of sinning. To cover this, I would take along one of my clergy friends to marry me to the new mother of my child before there is any hanky-panky. This should meet everyone’s definition of a traditional, Bible based marriage, as I would be modeling it after everyone’s favorite Biblical wise-guy, Solomon.

Everyone knows King Solomon was wise. An outward sign of his wisdom is that he was stinking rich. Solomon is said to have had 700 wives, mostly princesses from foreign countries. In addition to be rich and powerful, he also wooed these women with words. He is largely credited with writing the naughty parts of the Bible that the truly wise skip over, or the bold try to awkwardly refer to in sermons about sex.

Solomon’s most famous story, and sign of wisdom, is the one about the baby in I Kings 3: 16 -28. You know the story, two women, one baby, both claim the little guy. They go to Solomon and ask for judgment. He says, “Cut him in two, give each half.” Real Mom says, “No way, she can have him rather than he be harmed.” Her compassion verifies her as the real Mom, so she gets the whole kid. Wow, Solomon is so wise.

But is this really a testament to wisdom? Maybe Solomon was just having a bad day. Two arguing women and a crying baby show up at his throne, both with a hold of the tyke, and Solomon says to cut the kid in half just to get rid of them. Remember Solomon had 700 wives, he may have not valued babies all that highly.

So that’s it? We have one uncut baby and bunch of mediocre poetry erotica, and three thousand years later everyone is still talking about how wise this guy is? Those 700 wives eventually led him astray, because they lived with him. Remember in my plan, the foreign princesses would stay in their respective homelands. Who’s wise now?

But no, I’ll admit that I believe Solomon was pretty wise, but I don’t attribute it to his wealth, women, role in custody disputes, or his creative writing. I give it to him for his prayer. I Kings 3: 5 – 14 describes God appearing to Solomon in a dream, and asking what he desired. His only request was to have an understanding mind and to be able to discern good from evil.

Right answer! This pleased God. Rather than seeking more money, long life or the defeat of his enemies, the one thing that Solomon wanted more than anything else was to know how to do the right thing. An earnest prayer for the gift of discernment is one that we can all pray together. Let’s do that.

Dear God, you’ve heard our prayers to change the hearts and minds of others, you’ve heard countless prayers asking you to divinely intervene to change the course of nature… forgive for failing to pray the prayer that we should all pray every day, the prayer for the wisdom to do the right thing. May we all be more wise. Amen.